As an ex-illicit user and now a methadone addict, I find it impossible to register with a GP. I am now scripted from Oldham CDT, but having just moved into a new area I need a new GP, not just for myself but for my three children. I think I must have tried about six, but as soon as you mention the word 'methadone' and/or 'benzodiazepines', they suddenly have no room on their list. In the end I had to resort to phoning a GP and explaining that I needed a family doctor. I also made an emergency appointment for a "very sore throat" (probably due to all the doctor's receptionists I'd had to speak to).

I turned up for my appointment, looking smart and walked confidently in to the surgery. I then told the doctor the truth about how I needed to be scripted methadone, diazepam and nitrazepam until the CDT could take over. I also told him I was in a waiting group for the drug team, so he'd only have to script me for about six to eight weeks at the most. He took me on but only on the promise that the CDT would be taking over. Is it me or have GP's suddenly turned into something like drug pushers? But instead of 'Powder Power' they have 'Benzo and Methadone Power'. Methadone is a Class A controlled drug and it's the NHS that gets us addicted, then when they feel like it they cut off our supply.

I am on daily pick-up for my methadone. I have been for about two years now. I was first scripted from the Psychiatric Department at the Royal Oldham Hospital, when Dr Davenport ran the clinic. I was given a month's supply and told to find another source because the doctor at the time (one of Dr Davenport's understudies) said there was no methadone in my urine sample. I asked him what he was trying to say, because I knew I hadn't used heroin or any street drug. His reply was: "There's nothing at all in your screen." I told him that was impossible. I was on daily pick-up and I used to take my methadone in front of the pharmacist at Boots, but he wouldn't even consider phoning her and letting her verify this. That was when I moved areas and the rest you know.

On the subject of doctors, I have a gem for you. I have just joined another new practice, but this time it wasn't as hard because, like I've said, I'm scripted from the CDT now. But, even though he accepted me on his list, he was telling me that even if the CDT got my script wrong, he wouldn't prescribe methadone or benzos. "I wouldn't know how to write a methadone script out," he said, "I'm not qualified to do so. There are agencies out there for that type of thing." My 14 year old daughter was with me at the time, and when we got outside, she said: "God, mum, what if I get meningitis or something? Is he qualified to write me something up for that?"

I must admit, it made me wonder. Doctors shouldn't tar us all with the same brush. People are individuals, there are good and bad in us all. But, what I can't get my head round is why prescribe methadone then have us dangling from strings wondering if we are going to get a script or not? I'm sorry to say that the majority of doctors today are no better than your average dealer on the street.