Below are some quotes readers have sent us from professionals who they have had dealings with in recent months. If a doctor, nurse, drug worker, police officer, probation officer, prison officer, magistrate or just about any other professional you talk to or who talks at you says anything you'd like us to print, please let us have the details:

Client talking to Consultant who has just given him an oral dexamphetamine script:

Client 'You can't inject these can you?'

Consultant 'Of course you can'

So he did.

GP to patient:

'The only reason I'm giving you methadone is because you've been on my books for 25 years. I've got patients who are really ill!'

Drug Worker to client who was picking up her script and complaining of depression.

'Stop taking drugs and you won't get fed up and depressed'

If you have any gems like the above which you'd like to share with Nurse Ratchet, send them to: Nurse Ratchet, Monkey PO Box 124, Sale M33 7SB.