... ... Kill ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out! ... ....

In this case, God shouldn’t have much of a problem. Part of America’s drug war effort in Latin America, consists of helping certain national air forces shoot down planes suspected of shipping cocaine. One of these cosy little arrangements is between the Peruvian government, its airforce and the CIA. The CIA supplies the surveillance aircraft which then identify targets for Peruvian military jets. Last April, however, the men in shades made a bit of a mistake when they identified a Cessna float plane as a drug flight. The plane was promptly shot down by a fighter jet, but the passengers were actually US Baptist missionaries returning to their riverside mission on the Amazon. Two of the passengers, a woman missionary and her 7-month-old baby daughter were killed. The pilot, her husband and six year old son survived. At the time the Peruvians were blamed, now a US Senate body has revealed that the Peruvian authorities had all the information they needed to correctly identify the plane. But the Peruvian air force and the CIA took only 90 seconds to reach a decision that this was a drug flight. Not long enough to check. Still, every cloud has a silver lining. Since the death of the missionary and child, the practice of shooting planes down over Peru has stopped. Good news for the Colombians who are currently bearing the brunt of US assisted anti-cocaine operations. They now ship the marching powder to Peru and fly it from there.

... ... Pets enter the stoned age ... ...

The demand for drug treatment is seemingly endless. Now pets are getting in on the act too. In the UK, it’s apparently Mr Blunkett’s fault. His softening attitude towards cannabis, it is claimed, means that pet owners are more likely to come forward with pets that have accidentally eaten their owners’ stashes. Not of Class A’s you understand, but generally stashes of draw. All this came to light when a Blackpool vet with the unlikely name of Romain Pizzi reported the case of a stoned Chinchilla to the Guardian newspaper this January. He is now asking colleagues in the rest of the country to share their experiences of stoned animals with him. Maybe he should go international too. A Canadian newspaper recently carried the headline ‘Canada’s Vets Face More Stoned Pets’. While a report from Australia in the New Scientist magazine reported on cases of deliberate (rather than accidental) intoxication among dogs who were developing a taste for the psychedelic drug bufotenine. Apparently, when Aussie dog owners see their hounds come home frothing at the mouth and reeling round the house, they suspect their dogs may have developed a cane toad habit. Cane toads secrete bufotenine, a powerful and nasty psychedelic (as well as other toxins) on their skins. Hence all the crap about toad licking among humans (actually you need to dry the skin, grind it up and smoke it to avoid self-poisoning). According to the report "Cane toads are consummate pests in Queensland. Their venom is so powerful that would-be predators avoid them. Early on, dogs gave them a wide berth too. Then, somehow, one dog discovered that by gently mouthing a cane toad, it acquired just enough venom to give it a high. Just how, we don’t know, but in some way the word was passed around the canine world and toad mouthing became widespread. Some dogs are so hooked that they sneak out at night for quick fixes and even ignore their food dish." And if you believe that you’ll believe any of the crap they write about drugs in the papers.

Source MAP, New Scientists July 1999, Guardian 16 Jan 2002

... ... ‘Twin Towers’ becomes heroin brand name ... ...

It’s never really taken off here, but in America (home of the free market) dealers give their gear brand names to improve sales and maintain customer loyalty. They sometimes stamp bags with such images as aliens, stars and devils. Or, the bags have different colours (‘yellow bag’, black bag’ etc.) Sample brand names include Payday, Murder, Homicide, Top Choice, Tommy Hilfiger, Cocheese, Tyson, Sniper, Fuck You, Gladiator, Turbo, Old Navy, Volcano, Death Row and so on and so on. You get the picture. New York dealer Sandy Cellabos hit a real bad taste name recently though when he was nicked for selling gear stamped ‘Twin Towers’. Naming a bag of heroin after the September 11th disaster in the city in which it occurred will probably get him more bird than his charges of selling heroin and possessing guns. Still that’s the thing about a free market, everything’s a commodity, even the title of a disaster.

New York Times, 12 Jan 2002

... ... Dogs are dangerous. Don’t take them to school! ... ...

Bonnie, a German pointer bitch is a sniffer dog with Devon police. When not engaged in the drug war, she gets taken round local schools by her police handler to be petted and stroked, while the officer gives schoolchildren a talk on the dangers of drugs. Last month she visited a community college in Ilfracombe where her handler did his pep talk. As the pupils filed out of the hall, Bonnie started getting excited. The head teacher then let her search the locker room. Result? Several hoards of drugs confiscated and four boys aged between 15 and 16 suspended from school, with one facing potential charges after being found with 1.54g of draw. Community policing at the front line.

... ... Naked Weed Farmer Nicked ... ...

Paul J. Hirsbeel got more than he bargained for when he wandered naked round the Stanwood Shopping Cinema complex. in a small US town. While a police officer was giving him a ticket for indecent exposure, Hirsbeel was asked what he did for a living. His reply was that he grew marijuana. He even asked the cop if he’d like to help him pick his next crop. When the cop went to Hirsbeel’s house he found a shed with a hydroponics growing operation and promptly charged him with manufacturing marijuana. "I grow marijuana for fun and profit, to support myself and my family, to help bring us a better life", Hirsbeel said. His wife told police she’d never been inside he husband’s shed, which she understood was where he did his artwork and practiced with his yo-yo (what?). Postings are appearing on the Internet suggesting a statue be put up to him for his honesty. We suggest a psychiatrist, a good brief and a trip to a clothes shop.

Daily Herald, 12 Jan 2002

... ... Mexican Plastic Surgeons Fear ‘Containersisation’ ... ...

One way of evading the law is to radically alter your appearance. And there’s no better way than plastic surgery. In Mexico last year the Chief Prosecutor Mario Bermudez appealed to the country’s surgeons to stop performing surgery on drug traffickers who were seeking to change their identities and escape the law. They are in danger, he explained, the moment they finish the operation. The appeal came after police acting on a tip off, arrested a Tijuana cartel hitman known as ‘The Frog’. It took them a while to establish that he was actually The Frog, as they were expecting a fatter, older balding, bastard. But a plastic surgeon had given him liposuction (hoovered his flab up), new hair implants and changed his face. All that gave him away was a scar on his arse which he’d not bothered to have removed. Later the surgeon who performed the operation was found dead. Jose Galicia, a Mexican plastic surgeon, told the BBC he and his colleagues would like to help the authorities, but they were in danger from the moment a criminal came to them. "If we agree to do the job we risk our lives…I do know of some surgeons who were found dead in some containers some time ago", he said. And professional ethics meant they couldn’t pass info on to the police anyway. We would like to make it clear that it has nothing to do with the cash that can be earned by carrying out this kind of operation in the first place.

... ... Eton stops expulsion for drug use ... ...

One school sniffer dogs will never be attending is Eton, Britain’s top public school for boys. Eton used to have a rule that any pupil involved in drug use would be immediately expelled from the school, despite all the scandal and disgrace that they and their wealthy parents would suffer. Rank would have no privileges at Eton! Not until, that is, Prince Harry, a pupil at the school, got exposed as a major toker and pisshead. Although he had to spend a day in a posh residential rehab, to see at first hand the horrors and degredation waiting for him if he took just one more lungful of wacky baccy or drank one more glass of cherry brandy, he will not be facing expulsion. Never mind Harry. It might have been a yawn being at Clouds, but you’ve saved any future Eton pupils from expulsion. And we don’t want to hear any of that left wing shit about ‘One law for the rich….’. Getting excluded from school is a major risk factor in becoming a problem drug user later in life. And we wouldn’t want a potential future King ending up as a baghead, would we?

All newspaper articles summarised here are taken from the excellent and informative Website: Media Awareness Project

www.mapinc.org/drugnews