This was of course long before the safety conscious days of the needle exchange. A friend had acquired the monster pin from his mother who had ample supplies for the draining of excess bodily fluids. Once again I expressed my doubts, spurred on by the putrid stench of freshly boiled brown, and the very real chance of contracting a blood borne virus within this type of environment.

My frantic friends had had enough of my fears, and decided to attend to their own hits, which from past experience would make them incapable of performing mine for up to 2hrs. I now moved quickly to ensure my turn. With the tourniquet firmly in position and after a few hard slaps a suitable vein surfaced. My accomplice now moved to the optimum administration position while my stomach churned like a cement mixer. I turned my head away as the needle slid into the chosen part of my arterial system, followed swiftly by its contents.

I mumbled as the smack permeated my body. The rush is so hard to describe. It’s like waiting for a distant thunderstorm to move overhead - a strange foreboding, before a surreal awesome calm descends. The poppies' dried milky exudate flooded through my circulatory system, moving at light speed towards my brain. A warm, glowing sensation spread throughout my entire body. Inevitable feelings of intense pleasure began to surge, relentless & unstoppable; mind and body becoming one with the cosmos & creation leading to an almost too pleasurable orgasmic style climax.

A legion of angels descended and glided through my tortured body, removing all fears, worries and pain. As a deep, drowsy state of relaxation and contentment overwhelmed me, my chin dropped slowly toward my chest. I contemplated this wonderful panacea, drooling at the thought of my next excursion to utopia. But, and here's the rub: every time you experience this euphoric high is a hit nearer the day you’ll be unable to reach this nirvana. make no apologies to people who think I’m glamorizing a potentially life threatening pursuit. The crux of the issue is people have to understand the pleasure and positive side to the drug to have a balanced and understanding view of the subject. Smack starts off as the carrot but ends up as the stick; for there is no pleasure without pain, without heroin those addicted will soon become ill. The severity of withdrawal depends on various factors; such as the amount of heroin consumed before the attempt, the length of the addiction and most controversial, the number of withdrawals the addict has completed in the past. This is the ultimate factor for the addict to postpone detox, as waiting for withdrawal to start is like waiting for the dentists drill to hit a nerve. These fears have been magnified by the media especially TV, as most soaps have now had their token junkie.

The addicts’ last hit of heroin will eventually lead to sleep. The rude awakening starts as withdrawal symptoms set in, proper sleep will not resume for possibly months. The opinion amongst medics regarding withdrawal swings from one end of the spectrum to the other. It has even been compared too being no worse than a bad cold at one end of the pendulum - to outright torture at the other extreme. This ambiguity, inconsistency and contradiction amongst the so-called "experts", hardly ensures the necessary confidence in addicts to proceed through the withdrawal process or even attempt it.

Each addict will have his/her own way of describing "their" symptoms. The first to appear are usually the return of certain bodily fluids, uncontrolled by the lack of heroin, tears and nasal mucus flow like rivers. There is a frequent need to urinate and a twitchiness throughout the body as if being jerked back and forth by an invisible force. Next comes nausea, quickly followed by lack of bowel control and alternating bouts of shivering and sweating.

Male addicts may have an overwhelming sexual urge, which can lead to uncontrollable and involuntary ejaculations. As withdrawal continues a terrible restlessness descends, emotions run riot; a black depression comes in waves, bringing panic about past indiscretions, panic about today and panic about the future; you are unable to concentrate, making reading or other diversions impossible.

These sensations rise to an unbearable, unimaginable crescendo on the first few nights, as the addict boogies round a sweat drenched bed, enduring agonizing stomach cramps, & frequent bouts of diarrhoea, which can lead to a tender anus.

Days of the above symptoms is all you can envisage and your now too weak to do anything about it. You endure; you suffer and even pray for deliverance from this man made hell. Somehow you survive and after five days the worst of the symptoms have burnt themselves out. We even begin to congratulate ourselves for persevering through cold turkey, and insanely promise ourselves a hit of smack just for old times sake.

This soon leads to further hits as the insidious nature of heroin takes over. Within a short time you're left with a habit worse than when you started withdrawal. To the outsider with little knowledge of heroin addiction it seems absurd that anyone would endure horrendous withdrawals, only to start the whole process again. But it's this that forms the basis of the whole cycle of addiction. And you all know about cycling. Once you learn you never forget.